


Scars That Never Heal

by Tranquil_Tevine



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Rape, Squick, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-13 19:44:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7983847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tranquil_Tevine/pseuds/Tranquil_Tevine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry's detentions with Umbridge were much more than he lead people to believe. No one knew of the unspeakable horror he'd been through until one night, he had no choice but to tell someone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scars That Never Heal

**Author's Note:**

> Take note of the warnings and rating people, I truly mean this one. It's one of those ideas which wouldn't leave my head, though I'm horrified it entered, to begin with. Prepare yourselves for a feels trip and a lot of disgust!

Pain. So much pain. That was all he could feel. Every nerve ending was on fire and any he wasn't aware of, he sure as hell was now. He couldn't see anything, whether that was from blind panic or closed eyes, he didn't know. No, he couldn't take it, he couldn't take anymore, make it stop..

  
Please...PLEASE!

  
Harry woke up with a start, covers slipping off the sweat soaked bed in the shock of his sudden movements. He removed his glasses, drying them with the edge of his flannel shirt before dabbing the tears from his face.

  
'Thank Merlin I leave today.' He thought idly, mind still partially immersed in his nightmare. At first he could see what was happening but as the months went on, his mind was apparently unable to process the sight, so he was left in perpetual darkness with pains which felt so real, he could still feel their phantom tingling which had a vice like grip on his heart.

  
Deciding to forgo sleep, he padded softly down to the common room, lighting a fire with his wand. Harry mentally noted to himself to purchase a wand holster when he could, as keeping it under his pillow at night wouldn't do him any favours if he were ever attacked.  
He curled up in the armchair, attempting to soak in the warmth which never truly helped him.

  
He'd always been quiet, reserved. Any bright and mischievous spark he once had was diminished if not gone, as he'd spent most of it fighting the Dursley's insistence that he on purposely under performed in school, so his idiot of a cousin could look better. He paid so many prices for that act of defiance, but Harry didn't regret it.

  
What he did regret, were the whispered conversations no one thought he could hear, about how they were disappointed that he seemed to have gained nothing from his parents, if only in looks. "They've never been through what I have." He whispered sadly. Shaking his head, he stared into the dying embers, attempting to clear his mind.

* * *

 

It was strange, really. Harry had the strongest glamour charm he could perform and he knew the residents of Number 12 Grimmauld place were suspicious, but let him be. His hand still throbbed, with each one bringing forth a memory of the many hours spent in detention with Professor Umbridge. No one knew the extent she went to. If anyone asked, it was always the same answer of lines. It was a half truth, but the full truth was something Harry wished he could never remember.

  
He was brought out of his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder.

  
"Harry, you with us?" He looked into the warm amber gaze of Remus Lupin, Sirius Black just across from him with a look of barely disguised concern.

  
Harry nodded slightly. Sirius seated himself next to him, pulling him into his side. Harry stiffened immediately, back going ramrod straight. He missed the look passed between the 2 marauders as he attempted to get his breathing under control. Once he had, he tentatively leaned into Sirius. He stayed like that, lulled to sleep by stories of his parents.

* * *

 

It had been several weeks now. Harry had to admit that he wasn't doing well at all. He knew Sirius and Remus were worried, but there wasn't anything he could think of to ease their pain. He wasn't used to asking for help, he found it embarrassing and the fear of rejection and laughter at his expense always held him back. Every night he was awoken by his own silent screams, the charm he placed before sleep doing the trick. He was for once glad that the house was empty, save for the two marauders. Whatever he ate, he usually threw up. He was aware he needed help, but he didn't know where to begin.

  
Once again, Harry woke one night. After blinking his eyes a few times, he bit his lip to stifle another scream. his wound, along with the others, had reopened. With horror, he realized the bed and himself were stained with blood.

  
"What the hell am I going to do?" He wondered, on the verge of tears. A simple vanishing charm wouldn't do it, blood was hard to remove. He didn't know any stronger charms and if they came in to check, he had no possible excuses. He had no choice. He'd have to tell them.

  
Casting tempus, he realized it was only 9pm, he'd still have time. He wondered why he bothered sleeping anymore, to be honest. He always woke up in the same state. He used the bathroom to clean himself up, before heading down the stairs. Voices from the library caused Harry to perk his ears up, listening at the door.

  
"Moony, we have to say something to him. He's suffering and I don't know why. I just want to help."

  
"I know Padfoot but we need to give him space, let him come to us of his own accord. Whatever it is, it's shook him up badly."

  
"You're right, but I don't know how much longer I can wait."

  
There was a period of silence, where Harry decided to make himself known. He knocked on the door a couple of times, peeking his head through the gap.

  
"May I speak with you both? I have something I need to tell you."

  
The two shared a knowing look. "Of course Harry. What do you need?"

  
Remus' voice always had a calming tone which Harry found therapeutic. While Sirius was his rock, Remus was his soothing balm. Shaking his head, Harry stood before the pair sat in opposite armchairs, shutting his eyes for a moment in preparation. He opened them, determination and resolve shining within, but Remus could smell him. He was absolutely terrified.

  
Harry tried to speak, but words wouldn't escape him for a moment. "I-I don't really know where to start. You know Umbridge, the woman from the ministry?" He received two identical nods in return, "She's given me detentions, a lot. I had to write...lines." When Harry didn't elaborate further, Sirius broke the silence.

  
"Lines? What's so bad about lines?"

  
Harry gulped, knowing they weren't going to like this. "It's not your normal way of doing lines, the quill I'm made to write with, uses...blood." he murmured, cheeks burning. He couldn't hold their gaze any longer.

  
He didn't need to explain further. "A BLOOD QUILL? I'M GOING TO KILL HER!" Sirius roared, Making Harry jump back in fright when the armchair fell over with a clatter, Remus restraining him. After a few seconds of him breathing through his nose, Sirius gently took Harry's hands in his, inspecting them. He'd forgotten about his glamour but with an apology, he removed it.

  
Sirius paled. Remus came to take a look also, eyes widening and tearing up with what he saw.

  
There were no words for it, Harry's hand was mutilated. The skin was taut, red and raw, with tinges of yellow showing signs of infection. It ran so deep, it nearly hit the bone. They could tell it had bled recently, perhaps only a few minutes ago.

  
"Harry!" Sirius gasped. "Who else knows? How long has she made you do this for?"

  
Harry shook his head, tempted to remove his hand from Sirius' grasp but knowing he wouldn't get anywhere. "No one up until you two, I was so scared. It's been going on for months now, she's made me write 'I must not tell lies' from 6pm to 12am almost every night. I can't take it anymore." He very nearly broke down in tears, Sirius guided him to the nearby sofa, drawing him close.

  
"Shh Harry it's ok love, I've got you." Harry couldn't cry. All the times he'd awakened with tears streaking his face, some unseen force was preventing him from doing so. A light caress of his hair and hand on his wrist caught his attention.

  
Remus was sat on his other side, a bowl filled with Essence of Dittany and a soft cloth. The next few minutes was spent with Remus treating Harry's hand, whispered words of reassurances and comfort whenever he whimpered from the pain. By the end, his hand looked much better. But there was more...

  
Harry stiffened suddenly, eyeing them both. "There's something else as well, what she did."

  
Before they could respond, Harry stood before them. Slowly, he removed his shirt, wincing when the action aggravated his body. He ignored the loud gasps, removing the rest of his clothing, with the exception of his boxers. The sound of muffled crying almost made Harry look up, but he was too caught up in memories to pay attention. Steeling himself, he faced the pair.

  
It was Remus crying, Sirius had an arm round his shoulders while trying to fight off his own tears.

  
"She spelled the quill so that with every line, it would etch itself onto a different part of my body. She didn't just make me write the one line. Anything she told me, I had to write it down."

  
And he was right. On further inspection, it wasn't only I must not tell lies. I'm a worthless freak, pathetic, stupid, nobody, whore. All manner of phrases and words were carved into Harry's skin. He sunk to the floor in his near naked state, unable to stop the flashback.

* * *

"Strip, Mr Potter."

  
Harry blinked, not believing he heard properly. "W-What?" Stammering, he stared at her wide eyed.

  
She sat there, stirring endless amounts of sugar into her tea with that sickly smile, as though she'd simply asked about his day.

  
"You heard." Her eyes had a hard glint and another emotion he couldn't identify.

  
"No, I won't!" He shook his head vehemently, standing up and heading for the door before something brought him sharp to his knees.

  
Umbridge stood up, pointing his wand at him."Crucio!"

  
Harry screamed. Thanks to Voldemort, he'd been put under the torture curse before but somehow, this seemed worse. Perhaps because it was merely a memory of the pain which had reawakened? Against his will, his muscles cramped and even if he wanted to, he couldn't stop the shakes. It was about 5 seconds before it stopped. Shaking, he stood to his feet, looking at her warily.

  
She smiled sweetly. "There there Mr Potter. You've been naughty. That deserves punishment. You'll be a good boy now won't you? Strip."

  
She took her seat, staring at him intently.

  
Harry prayed to God that this was a dream. He was half tempted to pinch himself but knew deep down he wasn't. He closed his eyes, in some faint hope that what he was about to do would be easier on him if he did.

  
It wasn't.

  
He first loosened his tie, letting it drop to the floor. He shook his robes from his shoulders, which slid off them. More hesitantly, he added his shirt to the growing pile. Gulping and willing himself not to vomit, he was eventually stood in his Gryffindor boxers.

  
Umbridge licked her lips. "Those too Mr Potter."

  
Harry shook, sweating now. His fingers slipped with the waistband, before sliding them down his legs. He kicked them off his feet, hands naturally covering the front.

  
"Sit." Umbridge beckoned, pushing the Blood Quill to him.

  
Harry did so, taking it with considerably shaky hands, writing his lines.

  
His hand at this point was numb. He knew it should hurt, but hours upon hours had deadened the nerves in his hand, he knew that wasn't a good sign. The Toad's voice broke him from his thoughts.

  
"We're trying something...different tonight." She muttered 2 spells under her breath, which Harry couldn't hear. One at the room, one on the quill. "I want you to write everything I tell you." She thought for a moment. "I am a burden upon Wizarding Society."

  
Harry didn't like where this was going. Somehow, he had a bad feeling about his. After a few moments he was shocked when the words were not carved upon his hand, but his chest. The new pain was unwelcoming, worse than the hand in its intensity.

  
He gritted his teeth, unwilling to scream more than he already had. He'd been defiant all his life but at this point, he wasn't sure if that would get him killed. He'd never liked the colour pink but being bathed in the colour and with the Toad's presence in front of him, he now positively loathed it.

  
30 minutes later, Harry was to the point of passing out. He wouldn't though, he'd fight it. Who knows what she'd do to him? Almost every inch of skin was carved into, derogatory words aimed towards him which were now burned into his mind as much as his body.

  
"I am a filthy whore." Harry was close to crying. There was one particular place that hadn't been marked and he prayed it stayed that way.

  
With dawning horror, he realized that wasn't the case.

  
A pain like none other ran along the underside of his shaft. He couldn't describe it, it was like more nerve endings he didn't know he had were being electrocuted, burned and dipped into liquid nitrogen, only to repeat the process over again. Harry didn't know what that felt like, but he imagined it hurt like fuck. Tears traitorously slipped down his cheeks, splashing onto the desk. A wet sound caught his attention. He looked towards Umbridge and through tear stained eyes, he couldn't stop the bile rising to his throat.

  
He hadn't noticed, but her hand was making rubbing motions. She'd removed her skirt and to his utter disgust, she was aroused by all of this. She was rubbing herself in front of him and Harry had to clench down and swallow because he knew, just knew, she'd Crucio him for vomiting.

  
Luckily her eyes weren't on him so he made it look as though he were writing, but glancing up occasionally in case he was spotted not working.

  
A huff of frustration caught his attention. Umbridge had apparently not found her release if her furious expression was anything to go by. Cheeks tinged with anger, she stood up half naked and pointed her wand at him.

  
Something hit underneath the desk with a knock. Oh, god, no...

  
She'd made him have an erection. At its full size, it was so much worse, the writing stretched and it split the wound further. Harry bit his lip so hard both of his teeth on the top and bottom met in the middle through the skin. Blood ran down his chin, mixing with the salty tears.

  
His face was stiff from crying. What had he done to deserve this? He was going to be majorly fucked up and he wasn't sure how to get past it if he did.

  
What happened next was the worst moment of Harry's life.

  
Umbridge had removed every item off her desk and to his disgust and fear, items of clothing. What he saw was unbidden. It burned into his retinas like the words carved into his skin. He shut his eyes, willing the image to go away.

  
"Stand up." She ordered. From Harry's sense of hearing she had come to his left side. He had no choice but to obey.

  
When he did, he felt himself becoming stiff as a board, falling with a clunk to the ground, eyes snapping open. She'd Petrified him. Harry was in shock. His brain couldn't comprehend the situation he was in. He was trying to deny it by shaking his head but he couldn't, he was stuck. He couldn't close his eyes because they were frozen. All he could do was move them.

  
She lowered herself onto him, making twisted mewing sounds.

  
She was raping him. How could he ever tell anyone about this? The sheer mortification overwhelmed him and he just wanted to cry, scream, but he could do nothing. All he could do was try to look away but from the corner of his eye, he still saw enough. He felt her body slamming onto his front hard, bruising his legs from the force.

  
She reached out and dug her nails into his nipples. He couldn't even so much as whimper as her nails left deep grooves into one of the most sensitive parts of his body. She moaned, giving a high pitched titter.

  
"You love this Mr Potter. Remember. You're a freak. Burden. Unwanted. Nothing but a whore."

  
He didn't want to believe her, he didn't want to believe anything she told him but he was terrified beyond belief, more than facing the Basilisk in the chamber of secrets and Voldemort in the graveyard. He could never tell anyone what happened tonight. His one small blessing was it was the summer holidays tomorrow and he'd be spending it with Sirius and Remus. He would have tried to smile if his mouth were not frozen into place.

  
She squeezed his balls as if willing him to come faster. Harry wished he could too but he didn't know if a spell took longer, or if it rose naturally.

  
_'I've never personally had a fetish for toads.'_   Harry thought darkly. He was losing himself to his own mind, he only hoped that it was over soon.

  
Thankfully, it was. Umbridge screamed, it grated on Harry's eardrums and he was choking on vomit which wouldn't leave his mouth as a mixture of his own and her fluids dripped from her opening, making a little pool on his crotch.

  
Once coming down from her high, she removed herself from Harry's wilting cock and to his disgust, tasting her essence and his. He needed to get out of here, he could feel the sick burning his throat. With a wave of her wand, she told him to get dressed and leave. As he left her office, she bid him some parting words.

  
"Have a lovely summer dear."

  
Harry ran as fast as he could which wasn't fast since his body shook with tremors from the Cruciatus curse and just pure nerves. He didn't make it far before he dropped to the floor down a corridor he didn't recognize before he finally opened his mouth to vomit. He was still dry heaving 5 minutes later. He would've took extra hours of writing I must not tell lies, anything except what just happened.

  
Harry knelt there, not bothering to clean up the mess. He felt so alone. He wanted to tell someone but he was scared, he felt vulnerable, like every layer of his carefully constructed 'I'm fine' mask was torn to shreds and leaving him without protection. He didn't know what to do.  
He cried, wishing he could die.

  
"So for the past few weeks, I've been in this state, with my one blessing being you two and that the wounds haven't gotten infected yet. I woke to bloodstains from them on my bed, I couldn't remove the blood so I had no choice but to finally tell you." Harry finished. Sinking to his knees, he fisted his hair with such brutal force, he almost ripped a chunk out. He began muttering to himself.

  
"Freak, freak, stupid freak, should've died with your freaky parents. The Dursleys are right, Umbridge is right, I don't deserve to live, worthless, useless, ungrateful, who-"

  
Arms lifted him up, before his clothing was replaced with a wave of someone's wand. He struggled furiously, but they were much stronger then he, eventually becoming limp as he was placed into a lap.

  
"God Harry, I'm so sorry. Never say that about yourself. I love you so much and I never want you to think about yourself this way."

  
It was Sirius, he was brushing tears from his face he didn't even know he'd cried while tenderly stroking his head. He was faced towards those arms and with a moment of clarity, he realized he must be in Remus' lap.

  
"We'll make her pay Harry. Thank you for telling us. We're always here for you." Droplets of water landed on Harry's hair. He looked into the gentle gaze of Remus, his eyes filled with tears, some already having left their confines.

  
Harry brought a shaky hand up to his face, using the pad of his thumb to wipe them away.

  
"Please don't cry Remus, I don't want you to be sad."

  
Remus chuckled weakly, kissing Harry's forehead, caressing his face gently while the other hand was rubbing his back.

  
"Even after this, you're still thinking of us before yourself."

  
Harry lowered his gaze before a sniff caught his attention.

  
He looked at Sirius, who was arguably in a worse state than Remus. Remus was naturally emotional, especially when closer to the full moon. Sirius usually responded with anger but for him to openly weep like he was, Harry was worried.

  
Through his blurry eyes, he closed his scarred hand over Sirius'. The man shook his head, reminding him of Padfoot shaking his fur after a dip in the sea, gripping it in his own as though it were a lifeline.

  
"I promise you Pup, we'll support you every step of the way. That woman," He spat in disgust, "Will pay, we'll make sure of it. We need to inform Dumbledore, bring this case before the Wizengamot."

  
Harry was too tired to comprehend he would have to speak about what happened again. Deep down he was terrified, but he needed the relief. He was a little now he'd told the most important people in his life, but he needed closure. He wanted to see that bitch behind bars because Harry was aware that after what happened, he'd never be the same again.

  
The two Marauders noted Harry's state. Remus stood up, carrying Harry within his arms. Sirius opened the door to Harry's room, peeling the cover aside to place him in it. Harry had a firm grip on Remus' shirt.  
He gazed at him pleadingly, emerald eyes so troubled and scarred.

  
"Will you both stay with me tonight, please? I don't think I can be alone right now."

 

He silently communicated with the dark haired man beside him, then giving Harry his warm smile.

  
"Of course." He expanded the bed so there was enough for them all, before Sirius climbed into bed with him, drawing Harry close to his chest. He softly stroked the raven hair, soothing his abused scalp. Remus joined them soon after, stroking Harry's side in an attempt to comfort him.

  
Harry was close to sleeping. This was something he'd never had in his childhood. He felt so safe.

  
"Thank you guys, so much. I love you." Harry choked a little, a single tear slipping from his eye. Sirius kissed the tear away, drawing him closer, his other hand gripping Remus' own, so they joined in the middle.

  
"We love you too." They whispered in unison, the sound of their own heartbeats lulling the three to sleep.

  
A month later, Harry presented his case towards The Wizengamot. Questioned under Veritiserum as well as several memories of his detentions with Umbridge, including her most recent, the stacked overwhelming evidence against her. In over a century,  they had never been presented with a case this serious. To use a blood quill on a minor was one of the highest offences. Not only did she use one, she altered it to cause irreparable damage. Harry would forever have those scars. While Madam Pomfrey healed the wounds, it was too late. They were almost as deep as the one on his hand and if dark magic is used excessively, it's extremely difficult to heal. Harry, Sirius and Remus were sickened to find out how many students she'd tortured but were relieved that no one else had to suffer what Harry had.

  
She was charged with Rape of a minor, usage of Blood Quill on a minor, not having the ministry's permission to use such an item, casting an unforgivable and many other offences. She was immediately sentenced to The Dementor's kiss right there in the court room. Sirius and Remus insisted he not watch but he needed, no wanted, to watch the light leave her eyes. He wanted as much closure as he could get because life would never feel the same.

  
A few months later, a certain rat set off the newly added animagus ward within Hogwarts. Anyone who's magical signature wasn't recognized by the ward, would be stunned. He was immediately taken into the aurors, who were gobsmacked to realize that it was none other than Peter Pettigrew. After that, Sirius Black was cleared of all charges. It would never help him regain the lost years of his life, but seeing Peter sentenced to Azkaban and receiving compensation for every year he was wrongfully imprisoned went a long way.

  
Harry was overjoyed when Sirius proposed to Remus. They'd been happily married for a month now. He knew they were in love with each other, he was glad when it was finally acted upon. Sirius purchased a property away from all city life, choosing one which was closer to nature. The three moved in. While Harry realized he had a long way to go before he could begin to heal, Moony and Padfoot would be there, every step of the way.

**Author's Note:**

> ~ Updated, sorted out some typos O.O


End file.
